plot twist: you scream to your mom who’s in her room to come to the table because you already made the dinner
things that should not concern u:
- the length of a woman’s skirt
- the tightness of a woman’s top
- how many people a woman has slept with
things that should concern u:
- america’s gun laws
- that u haven’t petted enough dogs today
- harry potter named a kid albus severus
during summer: idk i think i ate an almond today
- its perfectly normal and expected for people to act differently around other people
- you play a different role in everyones life and you act accordingly to that role
- its not being two faced
- it’s “would you act the way you act around your friends at a job interview?”
- no you would not
Huh? I thought everyone did that?
I love doing this. Especially older books.
…. my TFIOS copy smelled like vanilla bean ice cream.
My TFIOS copy smelled like tears and pain
IT MAKES ME REALLY HAPPY WHEN PEOPLE REFER TO ME AS THEIR FRIEND WHOA. FRIEND
so today at work I cleaned this old man’s golf clubs and I thought he was getting his wallet out of his bag but instead he pulls out this giant plastic target bag of yellow plums. he tipped us in yellow plums. he told us not to tell anyone we had these and I looked them up because they were so good and these plums are illegal in the US. I got tipped in illegally imported plums.
20-somethings: Hey can I borrow a dollar so I can buy some more dollar store macaroni and cheese